Jellystone
Camp
Jellystone camping finally, for the summer
in America , Schaumburg . My family, friends their families, all were
going camping, and finally hit the road. Cleverly, my dad arranged all my
friends in our car. I and my three friends were in the rear seat, but the
chatter made us forget the space cramps.
While we were on the highway, the car
stopped suddenly?! A tree trunk was bang in the road!! What do we do now? Not
on time, the camping spot will be gone. This really wasn’t happening was
it “Seems like we have a long hours break” said dad.
No!!!!!!!
Jellystone Park reminds me of Yogi Bear's adventures there... Well done for questioning the audience and including dialogue. Great work, Tisya.
ReplyDeleteMrs T.
Hi Tisya, you do a good job here of setting the scene and using little details to put your reader right there in the car with you: why do dadas like arranging passengers like that? In your second paragraph think a little about the punctuation: Doesn't the first sentence need just an exclamation mark, no question mark? Then "This really wasn’t happening was it" could be "This really wasn’t happening, was it?" Keep it up!
ReplyDelete